Monday, July 16, 2012

Poutine Hangover

I have this rule about breakfast in restaurants that I tell Brahm he needs to help me to adhere to when we go out for breakfast: never order a sweet breakfast.  For example, French toast stuffed with berries and candied pecans, a waffle dipped in a sugary glaze, etc.  While sweet breakfasts are amazingly delicious, I just can't handle an entire plate of (basically) cake for a meal.  I suppose this goes for all meals really, as one time I made a mistake of ordering maple catfish with a side of mashed sweet potatoes.  But I can only handle so much sweetness before I start coveting the bacon at the next table.  So unless there's a good balance (e.g. bacon and eggs with one piece of French toast - why don't restaurants do this?  It would be the perfect breakfast and everyone would order it!!) I need to opt for a savoury breakfast.

I have another rule now:  never order breakfast poutine.

Breakfast poutine, if you don't know what it is, is generally just poutine but with breakfasty additions (usually poached eggs and bacon at very least).  Yesterday I had a breakfast poutine at The Hollows, because it was the day of my wedding shower and everyone was like "it's a special day!  You're going to be eating cupcakes all afternoon anyway so throw caution to the wind!" and I was like "yes, good idea!"

But here's what happened.  I ate a breakfast poutine (fries, cheese, bacon, eggs, and gravy) and then basically wasn't hungry for the rest of the day.  I ate a few vegetables and crackers and dip at the shower, but along the way did not drink very much water.  I meant to, but I felt like it would be rude to get up and go get more water in the middle of someone handing me a gift or something, and also wanted to try the sangria, so by the time the shower was over I'd mostly just eaten a breakfast poutine all day and only drank about a cup of water since breakfast.

I went home and ate a bunch of vegetables and drank about 1.5 L of water, and then went to bed.  I could tell I was dehydrated because drinking all that water didn't make me pee much.

I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and you know how sometimes if you hold your pee for a really long time, you get stomach (I'm assuming kidney) pains for a while after you finally pee?  This is what it felt like except it was more painful than what's happened before, and lasted until I fell asleep.  Then it happened again when I woke up in the morning and peed again.  And again, a couple more times.

Eventually I was ready to go to the doctor to find out if I had infected my kidneys or something but the pain mysteriously disappeared on the way to the clinic so I turned around and went home, where the kidney pains turned into indigestion and gas (I don't mean I was farting all over the place okay, I just mean in general I was having gas pains).  Those went away within a couple hours using general gas-elimination remedies (no details to be provided).

At this point, I realized that I most likely had a poutine and dehydration hangover.  I definitely had not followed a regular eating and drinking schedule the previous day and my body was telling me how much it was not into that.  Don't get me wrong - the breakfast poutine was delicious.  But not worth a morning of pain.

Poutine always seems like a good idea at the time, but almost never turns out to be.

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