I have some sad news. Maggots got my broccoli :(
Luckily, I was able to sample a tiny bit of the broccoli before the maggots (of the cabbage root fly) completely killed my plants. Oh maaan garden broccoli is so good! Next year I am taking that website's advice and making some sort of barrier over the roots so those idiot maggots can't eat my broccoli.
I guess this is what gardening is about for beginners - getting your plants eaten by idiot bugs so you can learn how to protect them in the future.
I'm not going to post a picture, because it was really gross. I threw the plants into my garbage can where I discovered that the bottom of the garbage can is covered in a few litres' worth of garbage juice. What a gross day.