Not only did I win $2.95 total in two days' worth of GAMBLING at Niagara Falls casinos this past March, not only did I recently take a flight to Ottawa where there was a PORSCHE COMMERCIAL this past July (they clearly only play that commercial when they know there are high rollers on the plane who would actually buy a Porsche), but now the word is getting out about my high rollerness (rollery?) - Hammacher Schlemmer is sending me catalogs in the mail to try and sell me a TWO MILLION DOLLA submarine.
I have no idea how I got on the Hammacher Schlemmer mailing list. When I got the first catalog a few months ago I have to admit, I thought it was a joke until I remembered that I am really rich ($2.95 remember that, I also currently have a $2 winning lottery ticket to cash, 5 cent candies are on me) and they probably heard about me and decided that I am worthy of their prestigious magazine. But anyway, I got the new catalog today with THIS on the cover:
I'm not kidding, apparently it is a real live two-person submarine that can go to 1000 feet. And most importantly, it costs ACTUAL TWO MILLION DOLLARZ.
Have a look at the catalog listing yourself. I honestly did a double take when I saw that there was something in an actual catalog that I was receiving that cost 7 figures. Anyway I probably won't be buying it because you know, I don't want to flaunt my immense wealth.