Friday, July 23, 2010

High Rolla

If you guys have ever thought to yourselves, I wonder if Robyn is some sort of secret high roller, like I wonder if she does things like fly on planes that have Porsche commercials on them, well, you would be correct.  I am indeed a high roller.

Not only did I win $2.95 total in two days' worth of GAMBLING at Niagara Falls casinos this past March, not only did I recently take a flight to Ottawa where there was a PORSCHE COMMERCIAL this past July (they clearly only play that commercial when they know there are high rollers on the plane who would actually buy a Porsche), but now the word is getting out about my high rollerness (rollery?) - Hammacher Schlemmer is sending me catalogs in the mail to try and sell me a TWO MILLION DOLLA submarine.

I have no idea how I got on the Hammacher Schlemmer mailing list.  When I got the first catalog a few months ago I have to admit, I thought it was a joke until I remembered that I am really rich ($2.95 remember that, I also currently have a $2 winning lottery ticket to cash, 5 cent candies are on me) and they probably heard about me and decided that I am worthy of their prestigious magazine.  But anyway, I got the new catalog today with THIS on the cover:

I'm not kidding, apparently it is a real live two-person submarine that can go to 1000 feet.  And most importantly, it costs ACTUAL TWO MILLION DOLLARZ.

Have a look at the catalog listing yourself.  I honestly did a double take when I saw that there was something in an actual catalog that I was receiving that cost 7 figures.  Anyway I probably won't be buying it because you know, I don't want to flaunt my immense wealth.

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