My mom really enjoys texting. Her texts are hilarious because she doesn't know how to correct a word in T9 if it guesses the wrong word and also doesn't know how to spell out a word using ABC mode or something similar. I don't have an unlimited texting plan (neither does she though haha) so I try to limit the number of texts I send when she tries to have a long text conversation, but some of the sagas that unfold over nothing more than a series of poorly-composed texts are pretty awesome.
The latest news from Humboldt is that a wasp nest has been built on my parents' deck.
Mom: Can you check when on computer how to get rid wasp nest
After which I did some Googling and called her. I'm not sure if anyone who's reading this has ever had a similar problem but what The Internet suggested was to call an exterminator, poor fuel into the nest, spray poison into the nest, or start a small smoky fire under the nest, and also catch stray wasps in cans of pop. I relayed all of these suggestions to her. For some reason my parents both really liked their own idea of starting the nest on fire. Might I add that their deck is almost as old as me and completely rotted (i.e., a major fire haz). I am hoping I talked them out of that idea.
Mom: Betty white show on my channel five
Mom: We knocked the wasp nest off this morning when it was cool some are buzzing around looking for their nest
By "we" she means my dad knocked it off and she watched from the back window.
Me (that evening): Are the wasps all gone? You should try to catch the rest in a bowl of pop or something.
Mom: The wasps seem to be looking for their house the pop didn't seen to work yesterday they dont like mint though
Mom (the next day): Wasps are trying to rebuild their nest they got one layer done then dad cleaned it off
Me: Spray that area with raid or something? I think to get rid of them you must have to kill all of them. Or hang up a fake one near that spot
Mom: Yeah need to im to led valley
Me: Can't you just make one? Put a nylon over a roll of toilet paper or something
Mom: Thats lee valley to get a fake one and we are going to get raid need to get rid me the queen
Translation: Their next step is to buy a fake wasp nest from Lee Valley Hardware (pictured above, source leevalley.com) here in Saskatoon. You'll notice that the Waspinator (R) looks suspiciously like a dirty sock, which my parents could probably easily locate right in their yard (they use old socks as rags), fill with newspaper, and set or hang right near the nest site.
My parents love coming into the city though and I suppose wanting to buy the official Waspinator (R) is as good an excuse as any, even if the highway between Saskatoon and Humboldt is washed out from all the recent flooding. Only the best fake wasp nests for my parents I guess.