Monday, June 4, 2012
I vow to not flush the toilet when you're in the shower
The thing that seems to be all the rage these days at weddings is writing your own vows. Which is very cool if that's what you're into, and it's nice that it's something that's allowed these days too, because if you feel that the traditional vows aren't really what you want to say then you can say something that means more to you.
But the thing I think people need to remember too is that original vows are awesome but they are not necessarily MORE awesome than traditional vows. Just because you're not writing your own vows does NOT mean you love each other less than the couples who write their own vows. Taking time to write "extra meaningful" vows doesn't equal more love. (Side note, sometimes people write "funny" vows which to me is kind of awkward, like shouldn't vows be serious promises, not a comedy routine? Save the comedy for the toasts! I always cringe a bit when people on wedding blogs write "and my husband had all the guests rolling in the aisles with his hilarious vows about putting the toilet seat down" but I guess I'm trying to tell you all not to judge traditional vows so maybe I shouldn't judge comedy vows, if that's your thing.)
I am ever grateful to A Practical Wedding, which I've blogged about before, for explaining this to me. A Practical Wedding is so wise. When Brahm and I first got engaged we talked about writing our own vows and we thought it would be cool and more meaningful than traditional vows, but then I realized that as an introvert, writing and saying my own vows in public was probably not going to happen. Expressing myself that raw-ly in front of so many people terrified me. (Strangely for an introvert, I do not have a fear of public speaking in general though.) And I kind of felt bad about it, and Brahm really wanted to write our own vows, so it stressed me out a bit until A Practical Wedding set me straight.
What A Practical Wedding says about traditional vows is that they are awesome, because they are tried-and-true words that have been used for generations and started off millions of happy marriages. It is TOTALLY meaningful to say these words that have been said so many times before you, words that so succinctly describe exactly what you should be promising when you marry someone.
A couple weekends ago we sat down to talk about wedding stuff and the subject of vows came up. "Honestly - I can't write my own vows, and the traditional vows are what I want to say," I said. He agreed that maybe we should just go the traditional route because writing vows that sum up what you want to say is HARD. So, RELIEF.
So anyway, if you come to our wedding and you hear us use the traditional vows, know that we put a lot of thought into deciding to use them, and that people do have reasons for using or not using original vows that have nothing to do with how much they love each other or how seriously they take the ceremony. I will sure mean every word I say of those traditional vows because in my opinion they can't be topped, and they are EXACTLY what I want to say.
In other wedding news, The Berry Barn's website got squatted, my dress came in (but it's too big so it has to get altered), and we ordered our favours from an awesome Etsy shop which further contributes to my intense love of Etsy and its sellers. OH and also I went for my trial hair appointment where I had booked a stylist that a friend recommended and they were like "oh she got booked for your wedding day so we put you with someone else" and I was like "YEAH she was booked, I thought that's what I did when I called 3 months ago??? You jerks" and they were like "Yeah but she's really hard to get into" and I was like "So that means it's okay to cancel my appointment with her?" but I am pretty sure it's impossible to actually book in 6 people for wedding hair 2.5 months ahead of time for an August wedding so I had no choice but to stick with this jerk salon. Luckily the new girl they gave me did a great job.