Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Basically it's Sneakernight

Hello everyone.  You may be sorry you read this post, because I'm about to introduce you to one of the worst songs in recent years.  It didn't get very big so you probably haven't heard it before, and it really isn't that catchy so don't worry about it being stuck in your head.  If you have 3 minutes, please take a look at this video for "Sneakernight" by Vanessa Hudgens (of High School Musical fame):

I have a few issues with this song.  First of all, the lyrics are super lame.  Now I am the last person to judge what is lame and what is cool because I honestly consider staying up until 10 to be really late (I work at 6 though okay), and part of me wants to be like "I am very happy to hear a song that asks if people had a snack before going out so they would have energy, and also ensures that everyone brought comfortable footwear" but SERIOUSLY THAT IS SO LAME.  Like, I would totally do that myself, but I am not cool.  I would never try to make a music video about it and pretend to be cool about it.  Because say what you like about cool and lame, and to each his own, but I think the consensus out there is that being practical is generally not a very popular subject to make dance videos about, unless they are parodies.

And also, the chorus "Basically what we're gonna do is dance"... I don't get it.  The word "basically" doesn't really fit in as a "cool" word either, thus upping the lameness of the song/video.  I suppose the word makes sense there but in the context of how it's used in normal conversation, it's more of a "here's basically how addition works, you have two things and two more things, then you have four things" not so much "are we going to PARTY???" "Basically!  Woooooooooo"  even though I suppose the very basis of Sneakernight IS dancing. 

Another thing that annoys me about this video, besides the lame lyrics, is the lame dancing.  If you're going to make a video about dancing you better at least have some good dancing in it, amiright?  I guess there is one guy who does the splits at some point.  But when the girls are dancing they are not synched well and the choreography is super boring.

AND then this "nerd" (guy dressed in cool clothes but has glasses) comes and wants to dance with the girls but they're all "EW YOU HAVE GLASSES, NERD" and laugh at him while he tries to dance with them, and then they see this "hot" guy in a red shirt, who honestly looks exactly like the "nerd" but doesn't have glasses, and so Vanessa goes and dances with him because he doesn't have glasses, but he is a way worse dancer than the nerd.  At least the nerd was trying.  This guy just sways back and forth a bit, grade 7 style.  COME ON Vanessa why are you so mean to the nerd, all he needed to do was take his glasses off and he would have been cool, just give him a chance and let him dance.

I also feel like the nerd scene goes against the very principles of Sneakernight.  "Basically what we're gonna do is dance."  So at the very basis of the night, the whole point is dancing.  So then shouldn't that mean that if a nerd wants to dance, you shouldn't try to suppress him?  You're not saying "We're only going to dance with cool people" you're saying "we had some snacks and got comfortable footwear on and now basically we are going to spend the whole night dancing NO MATTER WHAT".  So congratulations Vanessa, your stupid video totally went against your stupid song, and I am just confused about the whole situation here and how this song ever got recorded and made a single in the first place.

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